going home

Every time I fly home I get so nostalgic. I remember how much I love my mother and my best friend and drinking and eating Mexican food. It’s hard for me to remember what a death trap that place is. At least 10 people I know have died since I moved. Overdoses and suicide and car wrecks. Such a sad place to live.

It takes me coming back to TX to remember that I have a life here. I have a better job than I would ever have had at home. I make double what my mother makes. I work with international currency and arrange shipments for ‘important’ people. I usually feel like I hate my job. But at least I have one.

Flying home in 9 days is exciting and scary. I’ve done it so many times but it always makes me anxious and happy and sad. I’m still so sick but my head’s better. I don’t want to jump off a bridge anymore–not that I was going to anyway. The only plus side to stopping my meds is that I can feel again–I actually cried and laughed and had fun. Unfortunately the 1000 mg amoxicillin hasn’t kicked in yet. Speaking of, these are the biggest pills I’ve ever seen.

Anywho, I’m rambling. Back to West Wing and OJ.


One thought on “going home

  1. darsword says:

    I feel I can breathe again reading this.Hang in there!

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