It’s been one of those days. The set back days. The I am going nowhere with my life if I keep doing what I’m doing day. I really thought I was past all of this. Past the drug use and the people in my life using me. I’m an addict.
I’ve never gotten ‘help’. I took myself out of the situation I was in and refused to put myself back into it when I moved. A drug addict can ALWAYS find drugs. But I told myself I wouldn’t and I didn’t. Not for 2 years. I’ve had very few (less than 5) recreational uses and it never triggered the gotta get it feeling.
In the last month I’ve done more drugs than I have in 2 years. I know the cause. It’s been placed in front of me. I’m in the same place I was 3 years ago with the same problems and I am so sad that I’ve let this happen.
I had a new life. I had a new situation. And in yet another act of self-destruction I’ve taken it away from myself.