On Being Sad

I can’t remember what it’s like to wake up happy. To not feel like there’s a 2 ton brick on my chest. Every day I wake up and sigh because I have another day in this existence. I went to my rheumatologist last month and made a comment about being sad. And she said ‘you seem pretty happy to me’.

It irks me when people forget that just because someone is sad doesn’t mean they have to give up. Of course it would be nice to stay in bed on bad days. To binge on sleep and Netflix and Xanax like it’s the gospel. But most people don’t have that option. There are bills to pay. Appearances to keep. Life gets even sadder when you’re exposed. Lose your job, bills pile up, lose your house. Then you’re really sad. 

I would give anything to wake up happy tomorrow.

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