This was by far the bright spot. Unfortunately I’m losing one of my favorite associates, but this is from his resignation letter:
As my supervisor, you’ve been amazing! You’ve always been there for any of my needs, even when you weren’t in office. With confidence, I knew you were only one call, one text, or one email away. For example, I remember when you came back to work one evening to resolve any issues or frustrations I had that particular evening. That action speaks volume for the Supervisor you are; you’ve been very approachable and accessible for each and every member of your team. As a team, have been lucky. I don’t think we’ve really had the opportunity to thank you for all you’ve done and for everything you will do for the team.
I’m definitely in a flare right now. My rheumatologist sent me to a neurologist for some of the most painful tests I’ve ever experienced. Not sure if that’s what set this off or what. My original pain was in my lower legs and knees only–it’s now shooting up my legs and I keep getting random twinge pains in my arms and torso.
Mentally, I’m in a haze. It takes every ounce of energy I have to work. By the time I get home, there’s chores, life, etc. All of my friends have stopped asking me to hang out because they know I’ll turn them down. Unfortunately, it’s true. But no one stops to think how much this illness affects my quality of life. They assume I’m being lazy or distant. If I could give this to them for 1 hour, they would never bother me again.
My heart/chest joints (not sure which honestly) have been giving me a hell of a time as well. I really wish the doctor would give me a medicine that works. The Gabapentin I’ve been on for a month is a joke but I don’t want to stop taking it until I go back to see her which is in 3 weeks.
On another bright, sunshiny note, my teeth continue to break and each crown is upwards of $1000. I’m throwing myself further into debt with every tiny piece of porcelain. This is quite the week.
Currently watching a train wreck unfold before my eyes and not proactively stopping it. I’m completely out of my mind and I can’t bring it back around. I barely function, I can’t remember anything, I’m in a constant fog. I’m not living, just existing and it is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
It’s been one of those days. The set back days. The I am going nowhere with my life if I keep doing what I’m doing day. I really thought I was past all of this. Past the drug use and the people in my life using me. I’m an addict.
I’ve never gotten ‘help’. I took myself out of the situation I was in and refused to put myself back into it when I moved. A drug addict can ALWAYS find drugs. But I told myself I wouldn’t and I didn’t. Not for 2 years. I’ve had very few (less than 5) recreational uses and it never triggered the gotta get it feeling.
In the last month I’ve done more drugs than I have in 2 years. I know the cause. It’s been placed in front of me. I’m in the same place I was 3 years ago with the same problems and I am so sad that I’ve let this happen.
I had a new life. I had a new situation. And in yet another act of self-destruction I’ve taken it away from myself.